


i cover my eyes, still all i see is you

by jonphaedrus



Category: Reckoners - Brandon Sanderson, SANDERSON Brandon - Works
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Attempted Suicide, calamity spoilers, replacement goldfish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 11:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6049960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonphaedrus/pseuds/jonphaedrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I killed her,” Jon whispers, shaking all over. “She’s dead.”</p><p>David hesitates, and then crouches down, wraps his arms around Prof’s shoulders, and pulls him over until the older man can cry into his shoulder, Jon sagging heavier than a bag of sand.</p><p>“Yeah,” David says at last, closing his eyes. “She is.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	i cover my eyes, still all i see is you

**Author's Note:**

> could be considered an end work for [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1126832) fic. idk im probably gonna write more after i do my reread. i mostly need to repair the massIVE GAPING HOLE IN MY HEST (WAILS)

David’s feet crunch in the sand, his body aching with every step as he climbs the dunes up to where Prof sits collapsed. “Prof,” David says softly, but he doesn’t look up. David crouches by his side, tries again. “Jon?”

Jonathan Phaedrus looks at him, his raw face streaked with tears, and the noise he makes is awful, like shattering glass.

“I killed her,” Jon whispers, shaking all over. “She’s dead.”

David hesitates, and then crouches down, wraps his arms around Prof’s shoulders, and pulls him over until the older man can cry into his shoulder, Jon sagging heavier than a bag of sand. 

“Yeah,” David says at last, closing his eyes. “She is.”

 

  

Standing in the same room as Prof after that is standing in the same room as Tia’s ghost. He walks everywhere, the weight pressing down on him as his cross to bear.

“Give him time,” Abraham says, his broad face crunched up in a frown, when David asks about it. “If he comes back, he comes back.” The strength that infused him against Calamity is long gone, bled out of Jon’s body to leave him empty and hollow.

They take down Obliteration without him, and when they come back to Knighthawk, now with Amala, they have to go peel Jon off of a couch, where he’s been laying for days. 

David adds _starvation_ to his mental list of things that Jon can survive.

  

 

“What happened to your Prof?” David asks Firefight—or Morgan, as he’s come to learn.

“He—“ Morgan hesitates, scratching the back of his neck, “He died. A while back, I don’t know the full details.”

David nods.

He thought as much.

 

 

“David,” Prof’s voice is hoarse, “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“I want you to come,” David replies, glad that Megan has been practicing, glad that she’s so much more in control, or they could never have made this work. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Your father?” Jon shakes his head, and David drags him on. They can’t always control where he pops through, although Megan is getting better at it, and it’s a short walk to the rendezvous point. “I don’t know why.” David punches Prof in the arm, not holding back because he can’t break the older man’s arm. “That was uncalled for!”

“Come here,” David sighs, and drags Jon one street over to where his father and the rest of the Reckoners here are waiting.

Prof.

Stops. 

His feet stick to the ground like glue, and his arm slides out of David’s hand. His breath has stopped dead in his chest, and he’s shaking all over.

Twenty feet in front of him, the other Tia drops her cola can, and the clatter is unfathomably loud. She stares at him, her mouth open, and neither of them move.

“Jon?” Tia whispers, and David realises, startled, that she’s crying. Her voice shakes as she takes a single step forward, her hands trembling. “Jonathan?” A second step, and Prof isn’t moving. He’s barely breathing, just staring at her like his world has just come crumbling down around his head.

“Tia,” his deep voice cracks in half, and when he finally moves it’s like he’s in a dream, and they crash into each other in the middle, Tia wailing into his shoulder, fingers white-knuckled on the back of his labcoat. Jon is sobbing, and they crumble to the ground together, holding onto each other like if they let go, the world will end. “I’m sorry,” Jon sobs, holding her face in his hands, fingers wrapping around strands of her long red hair. “Tia, _I’m sorry_ I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t supposed to be you—“ 

“I know you didn’t, it doesn’t matter, we’re here now—“ 

Jonathan Phaedrus breaks down in the street, his voice raw as he holds onto Tia like the only thing that matters in the world, doubled over in her arms, and she cries into his shoulder. They cry. They kiss. In the end, they smile, and Prof laughs for the first time David’s ever seen him laugh in person.

 

  

It’s not the same.

It’s all right.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @professorjonathanphaedrus twitter @jonphaedrus


End file.
